Supporting You

After an incident of sexual assault, it is normal to experience a range of feelings, physical reactions and behaviour changes.  While there are similarities in how people may respond, each person will react to the incident in their own way.  One person may feel intense anger and even have feelings of revenge, while another may simply feel numb.  There is no right or wrong reaction to what you have experienced.  Below are some of the common types of reactions a person who is sexually assaulted might have.

Shock and disbelief

Immediately after the assault many people are in a state of shock. Some will act as if nothing has happened, trying to make life seem normal. Others find themselves in a daze, having difficulty focusing or getting mobilised.

Recurring thoughts and re-experiencing
There may be periods when a person is preoccupied with thoughts and feelings about the assault. They may have unwanted memories, flashbacks or nightmares. When they think about what happened, they may re-experience some of the sensations and feelings they had during the assault, such as fear and powerlessness.

 
Difficult emotions
While some people experience an overwhelming amount of emotions immediately after an assault, others find that days, months, or even years pass before feelings surface.  Emotions can change rapidly.  Some feelings that may surface include sadness, anger, embarrassment, guilt, fear, hopelessness, powerlessness, loneliness, confusion, and grief.  Feelings can be overwhelming and some people feel like they are going crazy.  It is also common to feel numb, detached, or empty.  

 
Self-blame and shame
A person may feel that the  assault was their fault or that they could have done something to prevent it.  Feeling guilty, ashamed, or as if something is wrong with you is common.  Shame and embarrassment can make it difficult to get help as a person may feel that others won’t believe them or will judge them.

 
Feeling afraid and vulnerable
Fears of darkness, being alone, being around people like the perpetrator, or of being sexually assaulted again are common reactions.  Some people feel “on edge” or easily startled. 

 
Difficulty in relationships
Sexual assault impacts a person’s ability to trust others.  A person may feel alone in their experience and that no one can understand.  Withdrawing from others or becoming dependent in relationships with friends, family, or intimate partners is common.  A person may feel irritable or angry with the people in their lives.  Sexual intimacy may be difficult and could bring up painful memories or a fear of losing control.

All of these feelings and reactions are normal responses to rape or sexual assault. It is also common for some feelings to resurface or new ones to emerge later on in a survivor's life. Periods of stress, new intimate relationships, the anniversary of the incident, or situations such as seeing the perpetrator or testifying in court, can trigger intense feelings.  Don’t judge yourself negatively because of these reactions.  You have been violated and it is perfectly normal to have these emotions.